Spencer's Bar Mitzvah
We are so excited to welcome you to celebrate with us as our son, Spencer Yoonsik Laufer, is called to the bimah to become a Bar Mitzvah. See below for important information about the event, and feel free to contact us with any questions at ronandcaroline@gmail.com
Service
Saturday, January 10, 2026, 4:45 PM
Temple Har Shalom
Temple Har Shalom
104 Mt Horeb Rd, Warren, NJ 07059
Reception
Saturday, January 10, 2026, 7:00 PM - Midnight
Bridgewater Marriott
Bridgewater Marriott
700 Commons Way, Bridgewater, NJ 08807
Bus transportation will be provided for teens from the temple to the reception
Bridgewater Marriott is offering a rate of 149.00 USD - 169.00 USD per night - Last Day to Book : Friday, December 12, 2025
Follow this link to reserve a room
Hotel Block for out-of-town guests
Bridgewater Marriott is offering a rate of 149.00 USD - 169.00 USD per night - Last Day to Book : Friday, December 12, 2025
Follow this link to reserve a room
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a Bar Mitzvah?
At the age of thirteen, a Jewish child is considered to become a Jewish adult. Traditionally, this is when they become responsible for observing the Torah's commandments, and become a "Child of the Commandment". In Hebrew, they are said to become a "Bar Mitzvah" for a boy, "Bat Mitzvah" for a girl, or "B'nai Mitzvah" for multiple people or any gender. This transition to religious adulthood is celebrated with a coming-of-age ceremony that is referred to as a "Bar Mitzvah celebration" or simply a "Bar Mitzvah."What happens at a Bar Mitzvah celebration?
A Bar Mitzvah celebration typically consists of two parts: a public ceremony at a Synagogue, followed by a reception/party at the Synagogue or elsewhere. (Spencer's Bar Mitzvah ceremony will be at Temple Har Shalom, followed by the reception at the Bridgewater Marriot.) The ceremony takes place during the regular prayer service. At the ceremony, the Bar Mitzvah will lead some of the prayers, read from the Torah, and give a short speech ("D'var Torah") about the meaning of the portion of Torah that he read. Close family members will be called upon to say blessings, and the parents will deliver a speech as well. The celebration following the service will include dinner, dancing, and fun!What is expected for guests at a the Synagogue service?
1. Dress: Guests at a bar/bat mitzvah celebration generally wear dressy clothes - a suit or slacks, tie, and jacket, or a dress or formal pantsuit. Younger guests may dress less formally, with collared shirt, nice pants, etc.
2. Arrival time: Guests should arrive at 4:45PM at Temple Har Shalom. The service should last approximately 90 minutes.
3. Prayer shawl: The tallit (tall-EET or TALL-is), is a prayer shawl, traditionally worn by Jews during certain services in the synagogue. Because of its ritual significance, wearing a tallit is reserved for Jews. Although tallit are available to borrow at the door of the sanctuary, you may decline it if you are not Jewish or are simply uncomfortable wearing such a garment.
4. Kippah or yarmulke: A kippah (KEEP-ah) is a head covering (called a yarmulke (YAH-muh-kuh) in Yiddish), worn during the service, not as a symbol of religious identification like the tallit, but rather as an act of respect to God and the sacredness of the worship space. Just as people may be asked to remove their hats in the church, or remove their shoes before entering a mosque, wearing a head covering is a non-denominational act of showing respect, and anyone may wear one. If you are uncomfortable doing so, it's not mandatory. A basket of kippahs (also called kippot) commemorating the Bar Mitzvah will be available at the entry to the sanctuary, for guests to keep as a memento.
5. Maintaining sanctity: All guests and participants are expected to respect the sanctity of the prayer service and Shabbat by:
- Setting your cell phone to vibrate or turning it off.
- Not writing.
- Not speaking during services. While you may see others around you chatting quietly - or even loudly - be aware that some synagogues consider this a breach of decorum.
- Not smoking in the sanctuary, inside the building, or even on the synagogue grounds.
In addition, it may be surprising not to hear applause after the Bar Mitzvah gives his speech or completes his readings, but it is discouraged to applaud, since this is not a performance, but an act of worship. Instead, you may hear cheers of "mazel tov!" (good luck / congratulations) or "yasher koach!" (good job).
- Setting your cell phone to vibrate or turning it off.
- Not writing.
- Not speaking during services. While you may see others around you chatting quietly - or even loudly - be aware that some synagogues consider this a breach of decorum.
- Not smoking in the sanctuary, inside the building, or even on the synagogue grounds.
In addition, it may be surprising not to hear applause after the Bar Mitzvah gives his speech or completes his readings, but it is discouraged to applaud, since this is not a performance, but an act of worship. Instead, you may hear cheers of "mazel tov!" (good luck / congratulations) or "yasher koach!" (good job).
6. Sitting and standing: Jewish worship services can be very athletic, filled with frequent directions to stand for particular prayers and sit for others. Take your cue from the others or the rabbi's instructions. Unlike kneeling in a Catholic worship service - which is a unique prayer posture filled with religious significance - standing and sitting in a Jewish service does not constitute any affirmation of religious belief, it is merely a sign of respect.
7. Following along in the prayerbook: Try to follow the service in the prayerbook (siddur) which is printed in Hebrew and English. Guests and congregants are encouraged to hum along during congregational melodies and to participate in the service to the extent that they feel comfortable. The weekly Torah portion read by the Bar Mitzvah will be found in a second book (chumash), also in Hebrew and English.